Thursday, April 12, 2007
"Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes."
"Success is meaningless if you can't sleep at night because of harsh things said, petty secrets sharpened against hard and stony regret, just waiting to be plunged into the soft underbelly of a 'friendship."
Today, I actually did not want to post an entry but because of something I had to account for, I had to. Anyway, let me begin with another thing first. Mrs Tan gave us back our essay which I miraculous finished in about less than an hour. Of course, the result was atrocious. Way before the essay was returned, I knew the result le. When I handed in my essay, she marked and reprimanded me for making many many mistakes. I wasn't unhappy about because can learn but I really think this essay is too hard for me to lay my pen on, to write.I had never ever thought of my ideal parents. Maybe because I don't asked for perfectness and knew there's no perfectness in this world. What I wanted to potray in my essay was that you need not be perfect in every detail so that you are perfect. You can be perfect in your mind and heart. Self sacrifice and love are examples of perfectness in the heart and mind. My essay is about my ideal father. I chose that because my father had too much to change...But now, my heart no longer hate him, I suppose I've forgiven him. My ideal father qualities are actually those of the opposite of my father's shortcoming. To me, I just needed that, all enough. Mrs Tan said my expressions are wrong but what can I do. All the actions he did in the past to me and everyone was simply unexplainable, I just changed them to the opposite. She would never understand. I know she's a loner and lost her father when she was very young but in life It isn't all about languages and english..All those things that sha said was touching were all fakes. How can she indulge in book and criticise that all the things we do except english are useless or waste of life. All those touching sentences are create by human beings, unreal and when it come to true story, I wonder how much she appreciates it. She never mentioned and husband and said that she do not believe in true love between opposite sex. True loves are hard to come and when someone did not manage to meet one, they condemn it. Cruel.
Next thing, got back my chamistry test and I got a very disappointing mark of 15/30. Surprisingly, I was not sad or depressed because of it. I even went around and told practically everyone my marks. Is his still me or who? Why did I become like this? Do I really feel happy inside me or am I wearing a happy mask? I don't know. Today, after school, went home with Aimah and don't know why I was forced by my mind again to tell her my marks. I started by asking her her marks and she got 19.Then I finally said that I got 15 and she asked me a question..." Eh, Ruiling what happen to you this year ar? last year you was like get top for everything ten this year..." I answered as If I had prepared for it a long time ago.I knew this time will come when I stopped getting first and had to face people like this..Haix..Whee are my confidence...
Last thing, Ms Ong, do you still remember when I asked you why Li pin always move and sit at the back with jian xin and yi jun they all? You told me you couldn't tell. I bothered you for a little while and stopped le.Later on, I found out that Li pin and david were together but I forgot hear from who le...Everyone spread here a little, spread there a little then put together then know le loh.The today Jieying confirmed with me that the rumour is real when someone told her that. But we din dare to tell you because we know you would be in an awlward position between us and li pin. Actually, Its so obvious, no rumours also know. But then, you got angry as you thought we din want to share secrets with you so we had no choicebut to let you know. Actually, It isn'tsomething big and theres nothing to hide too.Haix, we are all still so childish..
Yeah! I finished loh! Finally...too much to say.haha || posted by Lenig
"Success is meaningless if you can't sleep at night because of harsh things said, petty secrets sharpened against hard and stony regret, just waiting to be plunged into the soft underbelly of a 'friendship."
Today, I actually did not want to post an entry but because of something I had to account for, I had to. Anyway, let me begin with another thing first. Mrs Tan gave us back our essay which I miraculous finished in about less than an hour. Of course, the result was atrocious. Way before the essay was returned, I knew the result le. When I handed in my essay, she marked and reprimanded me for making many many mistakes. I wasn't unhappy about because can learn but I really think this essay is too hard for me to lay my pen on, to write.I had never ever thought of my ideal parents. Maybe because I don't asked for perfectness and knew there's no perfectness in this world. What I wanted to potray in my essay was that you need not be perfect in every detail so that you are perfect. You can be perfect in your mind and heart. Self sacrifice and love are examples of perfectness in the heart and mind. My essay is about my ideal father. I chose that because my father had too much to change...But now, my heart no longer hate him, I suppose I've forgiven him. My ideal father qualities are actually those of the opposite of my father's shortcoming. To me, I just needed that, all enough. Mrs Tan said my expressions are wrong but what can I do. All the actions he did in the past to me and everyone was simply unexplainable, I just changed them to the opposite. She would never understand. I know she's a loner and lost her father when she was very young but in life It isn't all about languages and english..All those things that sha said was touching were all fakes. How can she indulge in book and criticise that all the things we do except english are useless or waste of life. All those touching sentences are create by human beings, unreal and when it come to true story, I wonder how much she appreciates it. She never mentioned and husband and said that she do not believe in true love between opposite sex. True loves are hard to come and when someone did not manage to meet one, they condemn it. Cruel.
Next thing, got back my chamistry test and I got a very disappointing mark of 15/30. Surprisingly, I was not sad or depressed because of it. I even went around and told practically everyone my marks. Is his still me or who? Why did I become like this? Do I really feel happy inside me or am I wearing a happy mask? I don't know. Today, after school, went home with Aimah and don't know why I was forced by my mind again to tell her my marks. I started by asking her her marks and she got 19.Then I finally said that I got 15 and she asked me a question..." Eh, Ruiling what happen to you this year ar? last year you was like get top for everything ten this year..." I answered as If I had prepared for it a long time ago.I knew this time will come when I stopped getting first and had to face people like this..Haix..Whee are my confidence...
Last thing, Ms Ong, do you still remember when I asked you why Li pin always move and sit at the back with jian xin and yi jun they all? You told me you couldn't tell. I bothered you for a little while and stopped le.Later on, I found out that Li pin and david were together but I forgot hear from who le...Everyone spread here a little, spread there a little then put together then know le loh.The today Jieying confirmed with me that the rumour is real when someone told her that. But we din dare to tell you because we know you would be in an awlward position between us and li pin. Actually, Its so obvious, no rumours also know. But then, you got angry as you thought we din want to share secrets with you so we had no choicebut to let you know. Actually, It isn'tsomething big and theres nothing to hide too.Haix, we are all still so childish..
Yeah! I finished loh! Finally...too much to say.haha || posted by Lenig
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