Saturday, August 11, 2007
I wish...I wish...I wish..for my life to be simple again. A month has passed since my last post and life is still same the for me...Who's the one who said happiness can be easy? Well, it's definitely not the case for me. Undesirable things just befall upon me like little droplets from the sky..How can I be happy when I always come face to face with unhappy things. Some are newly created problems while some are problems that clung onto me for years. This time, it's the latter. My family, I once thought, was a 21st century family. But, as I grew, my brain tells me that It still preserved some qualities of a stick-in-mud family. What I meant was that my family still insists on "Elders have a say..small ones keep quiet" slogan. I seriously abhor this tradition because in my house, the only person suffering from this, would be me! I tried to go it the rationale way, by having a chat on this issue, naively thought that they would change. But, I was wrong! All wrong. Then I realised that of course it would be wrong because this method itself is an irony to the tradition. Since small ones must keep quiet, whats makes you think that they would listen to the small ones? I'm going to list down all my sufferings..I don't care anymore! First, I must say that I'm already 15 years old, not a kid anymore. I talk sensibly! In my house, nobody listens to what I want to say.Whenever I wanted to say something, they would shoo me away like I'm a three year kid trying to babble nonsense.Ok, nvm. Prioritize, in any house, everyone must have an equal opportunity to speak.Normally, there would be two person trying to speak simultaneously.That's when prioritize comes. The problem is, in my house there's no fair prioritize. It's always the elder that gets to speak first even when what she's trying to say was gossiping about her office affairs..Still nvm. When asked for opinions, when someone was trying to be kind and offer some, she would be reprimanded for being bothersome.Fine! I shall give no comments! When something goes wrong or something is missing, guess who will be accused immediately?? haha, me! and don't bother even for explanation because it really doesn't help!But, what can I do? Nobody realises that they are wrong..what can I do??? Cry in my bed?? Nobody tries to understand me..When there's a quarrel going on in my house, lets guess again whose fault would it? Undoubtedly, me because I'm seen as the smallest and BRAINLESS! The elders always think that they are right and never admit wrong. So frustrating, if you were in my shoes. The next would be fairly common in every household, but when it adds on to my problems..It becomes very very unfavourable. It is unfair treatment. Needless to say, who will be favoured more? this time, its not me of course. The formidable Elder one. blahblahblah..I've heard enough of those..but ask you, if you were a mother of a lawyer and a ex-scholar from a neighbourhood school, who would you favour more? What can I say...but everyday I have to face this " you don't finish all hor..leave for your sister" and " you help her do this do that". It's not that I'm selfish..It's the heart for that person that matters..You will never see my mum saying something in my favour...u know the feeling of heartbreak? well..that's it. Nobody respect me too...whether in school or at home..did I caused this and its all destiny? This time round,it's revolution time! I will never compromise..even if it means not talking to each other forever...until..until they realise that they are wrong...really wrong!
(p.s. erm..I think i sound as if i would attempt suicide, but dun worry, i will not.haha) || posted by Lenig
(p.s. erm..I think i sound as if i would attempt suicide, but dun worry, i will not.haha) || posted by Lenig
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